Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Q and A - Gene Monterastelli

Overwhelmed By Emotions: Preventing it from happening and dealing with it if it happens

Gene — 2008-06-11T09:43:51Z

I have so many emotions and memories coming up all at once that I am overwhelmed by them. It feels like they are queuing up to get fixed! Yes, I'm glad this stuff comes up and I deal with it as it comes, but issues are tumbling out so fast they are landing on top of each other. I can't spend all day in the bathroom at work! How do I deal with all these emotions without being so overwhelmed?

I have heard of this experience from a number of my clients. It is much like stirring up pond water. The water looks very clear, but the moment you start poking around in the water the sediments from the bottom clouds the water.

We can be very unaware of the all the emotions and memories that we are carrying around. When we start to poke around doing healing work we can stir the pot and find much more than we bargained for.

I have two recommendations. One before you dive in and one for those moments you have stirred up more than you bargained for.

Preventing Overwhelm
One of the benefits of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is the fact that we are able to slowly creep up on a problem while still doing effective work. Some techniques and therapies require you to dive into the deep part of the pain before you can start healing. It is possible to use EFT in the fashion, but I am not a big fan of this approach.

I am not a fan of feeling pain for the sake of pain. Why doing healing work in a very painful way when you can do it in a much gentler way? A prefect example of this is how we can use EFT to deal with the fear of being in high places might cause someone.

We could blindfold someone, not tell them what you are up to and transport them to the top of a 67 story building, have them freak out and start to do EFT.

Is it possible to be successful like this? Maybe, but in my mind you are cause a lot of undue pain in the process.

When I am working with someone with this type of fear we start in the suburbs. I tell them that in just a little bit we are going to go downtown and go to the top of the tallest building. For someone who fears being up high this will cause the level of anxiety to rise. We deal with this anxiety by doing EFT.

After they are comfortable with the thought of heading downtown, we move to the car. In most cases their level of anxiety is going to once again rise as the reality of climbing to the top of the building becomes more real. Again, we do EFT dealing with the anxiety. Once the anxiety is gone we start to drive downtown.

The process repeats itself as many times as it needs to; stopping to do EFT everytime the anxiety gets above a 5 until we are at the top of the building. If this means we have to stop the car every 10 minutes and have to do EFT with every step closer we take to the elevator, we do it.

Can this take a great deal of time? Yes. Is it a safe way to heal? In my mind it clearly is.

I recommend that whatever issue you are working on you creep up on it as gently as possible. By doing this you are going to more readily prevent yourself from going on tilt. I am in favor of erroring on the side of caution even if it means that the healing is going to take a little more time.

When Overwhelm Happens
There are going to be times when we are not able to prevent the overwhelm of emotions and memories. We might be doing some healing work and stumble in to issues we had no idea that they were there or we might have circumstances in our life come up that take us complexly off guard.

We know that EFT is most effective when we are able to take memories one at a time and emotions from those memories one at time. When we are in circumstances of unexpected overwhelm it is often very hard to do this. There is simply a whirlwind of emotions and/or memories all coming at once. Trying to separate these emotions or memories is like trying to separate one raindrop from another in a rainstorm. There might be a fleeting moment where you can see a single drop, but a moment later it is lost into the storm.

When this happens it is almost impossible to get enough separation on any aspect to do effective work. When this happens I go through a few steps to calm the storm.

1) Deal with any emotion that you have about being overwhelmed.
Once we know that we are suppose to break memories and emotions to effectively clear them it can be frustrating when we aren't able to break them down. If there is any frustration about being overwhelmed that is the best place to start. The more frustrated you are, the less clearly you are going to see the issues at hand. As you tap give yourself permission to take this slowly and that it is okey not to know everything all at once.

Tap on: I know EFT works better when I can break things down...right now all the emotions are coming all at once...I don't know where to begin...and I feel like I am never going to be able to get clear of all of this...but I don't need to be frustrated or overwhelmed...I am going to be able to use EFT to take is apart a bit at a time...by taking it apart a bit a time it is going to manageable...as I break it apart is it is going to be easier and easier to manage...I give myself permission to take this slowly...it is okay that I don't know everything that is going one...

[Side Note: You might also want to take a look at this article on the fear of fear. Sometime we feel overwhelmed because we are afraid of what we are going to find. If that is the case I think this is a very helpful approach: Fear of Fear]

2) Paint a picture of all the emotions at once
Since we are unable to deal with the emotions one at a time we might as well go after them all at once. Again, this is going to be a bit of a gross approach to what is going on, but the goal of this step is to help us get some clarity so we can start picking the emotions apart.

In this step tune in to all the emotions you are feeling at once. Create a picture in your minds eye. Is it something inside of you or surrounding you? Is it a weight that is on your or something swirling around you? Is it a mist, a fog, or a storm? Or is it something completely different?

It doesn't matter what you mind's eye leads you to, just tune into that image. What color is it? What shape is it? How much does it weigh? What is made of? Treat this image the exact same way you would tune into a physical pain.

Now start to tap. At first just tune into all the characteristics of the image you have just created. As you move from tapping point to tapping point move to a different characteristic. The color, shape, size, weight, where it is. Just keep tuning in.

As you do this you will notice that storm of emotion is going start to loose its intensity.

3) Change the image into what needs to happen next
After spending a little time tapping with the image you have in mind, it is now time to start to change the image. You are either going to change it into something new, get rid of it, or destroy it.

If it is a tornado, see it move off the in to distance. If it is a fog or mist see the warm morning sun melt it away. If it a haze hanging in the air see environmental engineers with air filters suck the polluted air into air filters cleaning it. If it is goo in your chest see little street cleaners work the area over and clean it up. If it a heave metal weigh on your chest or shoulders see little workmen with jackhammers breaking it up.

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While doing this, just keep tapping. How you change the image doesn't matter, but change it for the better. Ask yourself the questions, "How could I make this feel better?" and see it happen.

As you do this you are going to find that you are going to be more relaxed, your issues aren't going to seem as big, and you are going to be able be able to start to pick the individual emotions apart, making the whole experience feel less overwhelming.

Conclusions
The beauty of EFT is we don’t have to feel a great deal of pain for it to work. We can creep up on any issue we want to work on. There are going to be times when we become overwhelmed with emotions. When this happens we can still do work. We can:

deal with the frustration of being overwhelmed
group all the emotions together
bring their intensity down as a group giving us the space we need to break the emotions apart into manageable pieces.

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Using Poetry with EFT (in this case for forgiveness)

Gene — 2008-06-10T14:24:38Z

In a recent newsletter you talked about using a forgiveness poem as a tapping tool. I am not sure what I am supposed to do. Can you give me more instruction?

One of the reasons I love Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) so much is because how flexible it is. Because of the flexibility of the tool it can be adjusted not only to deal with many different issues, but it can also be adjusted to meet many different personalities.

I know I write this all the time, but one fifth of the questions I receive require this sort of answer: The words are not magic. There are no right or wrong words to use while tapping.

For EFT to work we need to focus in on the issue we are doing work on. Saying phrases out loud can be a very helpful tool in getting us to focus, but it is not the only way. What is important is the fact that we are tuned into the issue at hand and are tapping at the same time.

The "Movie Technique" is a prefect example of this principle. One application of this technique is to let the movie of the past event play in our mind and tap along with it. By playing the movie emotions about the memory are going to come up. By tapping we are cleaning these emotions up.

Tapping along to a poem is similar in how it can be used to stir emotions. I want to be very up front, this is not for everyone, but can be very effective for some.

Sometimes when we read a poem emotions are stirred inside us; that is the sign of good poetry. If these emotions are away from the emotions of health and well being then it presents an opportunity for us to do some clean up work.

I was e-mailed the following poem by one of my readers, Etta, who said that tapping along with this poem was a great tool to tap along with.

You might read this poem and feel nothing, which is okey. If that is the case, then this is not a useful tool for you. But if you read this poem and can use it to tune into your day and some of the choices you made that you might regret then it is a great tool for you.

The great part about EFT is it cost so little to try. Take 30 seconds and read this poem out loud. Not like a performance, but as words you are speaking to your deeper self. Pay attention to what comes up. While you are doing it tap along. With each phrase just move to another tapping point.

I would love to hear your experience while trying this.

Little Prayer For HRA's (Huna Research Associates)
by Max Freedom Long

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If I have hurt someone today
With thought or word or deed,
Or failed another in his need
I now repent

If I can take those steps again,
Tomorrow will I make amends
And heal with love those hurts.
I do this pledge

And if some hurt has struck me deep
And no amends are made,
I ask the Light to balance all.
I count the debt as paid.

Parental Sprits, whom I love,
And who I know love me,
Reach through the door I open wide.
Make clear my path to thee.

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Using EFT for Serious Medical Issues

Gene — 2008-05-26T16:39:35Z

I have recently been diagnosed with a rodent ulcer on my chest that will need surgery...or will it? I have asked my Reiki students and colleagues to send distance healing and I wonder whether EFT may also be used? I am unsure what affirmation to use in this instance. Do you have any suggestions on phrases that I should use?

There are three really good questions here. Let's look at them one at a time.

Will I need surgery or should I use EFT?
To be honest I have no idea. I am not a medical doctor and am not qualified to advise you in this way, but I would offer this thought.

I am very excited by the many strides that have been made in energy-psych over the last few decades. We have learned so much about how the body gets sick and how it heals itself. What is even more exciting is the fact that we are just scratching the surface with the human body's potential, especially to heal.

With that being said, I do NOT believe that energy-psych is the best or only treatment for every situation. There are many ways of helping the body back to full health, which include procedures and techniques that modern medicine has provided us.

When I am bleeding the first thing I do is reach for something to stop the bleeding. My first thought is not to tap. Once the bleeding is under control I will then spend time tapping to help the healing process.

The important point is that you take control and responsibility for your body. Get all of the information you can for as many trusted sources that you can. Weigh all your options and make the choice that makes the most sense for you.

There are people who will approach your situation only using only a surgical/pharmacological approach. Others will use only an energy-psych approach. Still others will use a combination of the two.

There is no one right answer that can be applied to every situation. The nice thing about EFT is it only costs you a small amount of time to do and won't make things worse. This makes it very easy to add to whatever approach you decided to take.

Can my friends do EFT at a distance for me and will it help?
When EFT is done on one person for another person (be they present or a long way away) it is called surrogate tapping. Describing surrogate tapping and the best way to do it is a topic that requires an article unto itself. But I would offer this...

When I am explaining surrogate tapping, especially to parents who would like to tap for their children, I say, "Surrogate tapping might work and it might not. If you choose to set 7 minutes a day aside to tap for your child you are going to be spending 7 minutes thinking loving healing thoughts for your child. Even if the tapping does nothing for your child I believe that is time well spent."

There is a library of anecdotal evidence that suggests that surrogate tapping can be effective. I have seen such things in my own practice, but it is hard to know how effective this is.

If you have friends who know EFT and are willing to take some time to tap for you, I say go for it. Again, the worst thing that will come of it is your friends will spend time thinking of you in a loving healing way. Everything else that comes from their time and effort is a bonus.

What phrases should I use?
This is the second most common question asked of an EFT practitioner (right after, "Will EFT work on...?"). It is important that we keep reminding ourselves that words we use while doing EFT are not Magic. The phrases we use are reminder phrases with the sole purpose of keeping us tuned into the issue at hand. There is no right or wrong way to come up with these phrases.

The thing that is much more important than the phrases we use is the issue that we are tuning into. This is the place that we do the work. In the circumstance of a serious health concern there are two places that I would start.

First, I would start with the emotions that you feeling about your current situation. Often times when we receive a medical diagnosis most of our thoughts are turned to how we are going to heal the body and cope with the situation. In doing this we often forget about our emotional health.

It takes a great deal of energy to feel angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, and frightened. All of these emotions are very common when we are faced with major health concerns. If we are spending a great deal of energy on these emotions then we have less energy to do the work of healing the body needs to do.

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It is important to spend time with the emotions we are facing. By taking care of our emotional health we are going to have a clearer mind to make the choices that are right for us and we are going have the bodies full reserve of energy committed to the healing process.

Some of most common emotions associated with health issue that are worth tapping on are:

anger (at self for letting happen, for not getting the care you deserver, at it not being fair)
fear (of death, of debilitation, of never being whole again, of being dependant on others, of getting worse, of being a burden to others, of not being able to heal, of not knowing what to do)
frustration (that you have no control, that you did everything you could and it still happened, that is cost so much to deal with)
sadness
loss (of mobility, of health, of freedom, of youth, of activities)

By spending time clearing these emotions we are going to feel better, have a clearer mind to make choices about our care, and have the full store of energy committed to healing. I truly believe is a very important (and often over looked) step in the healing process.

Second, I would spend time with the symptoms themselves, which is what the main question is about. I have written on this topic before. If you are interested in seeing how to approach the symptoms themselves check out:

The Body Has Information About Our Issues

3 Easy Ways to Approach Physical Issues

I know I sound like a broken record, but the words are magic. The important thing is focus. The two articles above will show you great ways to tune into what is going on in your body, giving you words that will help you tune into the issue at hand.

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The Body Has Information About Our Issues

Gene — 2008-05-07T09:42:56Z

I remember reading a suggestion about "asking" a troubled body part what it's trying to tell you. What exactly does that mean? And how does the answer get conveyed? Would it be a thought or words popping into your head? If so, would it be immediately or would it require additional tapping?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is most effective when we can be very specific about the issue that we are working on. Sometimes it is very hard to be specific. There might be so many emotions going at once that we call pull them apart into workable parts. Other times there is just a general feeling that we have no real sense what it is about. When this happens I like to turn to the body.

One of the reasons I love the feedback that the body gives us is because we are less likely to talk ourselves out of what the body is feeling. Something I choose to deny my emotions. I am capable of making my self believe that I am not mad, angry, or sad. When I do this I am really just pushing an emotion down and choosing not to heal.

On the other hand I have a much harder time deny my physical sensations. I can't explain away knots in my stomach in the same way I can explain away anger. Because of this fact, the body often provides a gateway into healing that sometimes unavailable through other means.

To do this we are going to tune in to the information the body can give us. The process I am going to teach you can be used for both physical and emotional issues. I am going to explain the process in terms of an emotional issue, but it works the same way for a physical issue.

REMEMBER: It is very important to be easy about this. There is no right or wrong answer and there is no right or wrong way to do this. Trust the process and trust yourself. The body wants to give us information to heal, but if we are worried about getting "the right answer" we are going to be to too worried to hear what the body is conveying. If you feel any anxiousness to doing this (or doing this well), just tap.

(I know the body has information for me...I am worried I am going to do this wrong...I am worried I am going to miss important information...I know there are no wrong answers...Even if I don't make any progress by doing this it is only going to take a few minutes...The more I do this, the better I am going to get at it...Since I don't know what I am doing, there should be high expectations...I give myself permission to be easy about this.)

These are the steps I would recommend.

1) Take a deep breath.
Close your eyes and center yourself. It is always easiest to understand what is going inside of you when you take a moment to relax and pull back from the outside world.

2) Tune into the part of the body you want to get information from.
If there is a very noticeable physical sensation when you think about the issue you are working on tune into this place. (For example a tight chest, shortness of breathing, knots in the stomach, tightness in the shoulders, pain in your hip, or it could be anything else.)

There are going to be times where there isn't a very strong physical sensation that goes along with an issue. You might be uneasy about something that is about to happen, but you don't know what that is and there is no strong physical feeling. The feeling of uneasiness in the body is as abstract as the abstract as the uneasy feeling.

If you have no idea what part of the body is associated with the feeling simple ask the body where the feeling lives. This might sound a little odd, but it is as easy as that. Think of the feeling you are working with and just ask your body, "Where does this feeling of uneasiness live?"

Trust your body and trust the process. Something will pop to mind. At this moment the information might make no sense. You might get the sense the uneasiness lives in your right ankle. Just go with that.

Once you know which part of the body you are working on, just notice this part of the body. Image what it looks like on the inside. Again, be easy about this. There is no "right" answer. As you tune into this part of the body you might see the literal inside of the body, or you might see a metaphoric picture (such as a large stone heavy on your chest).

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Also, remember not everyone "sees" things when they image them. So don't be worried you only see black, but feel that part of the body.

3) Just ask that part of the body what is wants to tell you.
Once you have tuned into the part of the body associated with the emotion ask the body what it needs. Again, this is as simple as paying attention to the image and area of the body and asking the question.

In addition to asking what the body is trying to tell you, you can also ask what the body needs.

Pay attention to what pops into your head. It might be completely off the wall. When I asking clients for information and they start by saying, "I am sure this has nothing to do with this, but..." it is the best possible news. If something comes to mind that is completely unrelated then we can be very certain that it has something to do with what is going on.

4) You might get a clear answer or you might not.
Again be easy. The information can come it lots of forms. You might get is a thought or phrase. You might see a picture. You remember something form your past. You might just get a metaphoric image (like giant rock).

4a) If the information is usable then do EFT.
Many times when you do this process you will get very specific information.

A memory that can use EFT: As you tune into this body part a memory from you past might come to mind. If there are any negative emotions associated with this memory (or memories) take some time to do EFT on these memories. Many times the memories that come up are unexpected and even parts of our past we have completely forgotten about.
Information about the body part: I have done this process and have heard very clearly that a particular part of my body has a particular feeling. I have heard that body parts are tiered, under appreciated, need healing energy, or need forgiveness. Do my various body parts have specific emotions? I don't know, but I do know that my subconscious mind is giving me very specific information about the parts of my body that need to be healed. The fact my knees feel tired is unimportant. The fact that by tuning into the feeling of tiredness that is associated with my knees and tapping will bring healing is important.

4b) If you get information you don't understand just tap.
Sometime when we do this type of process we are going to get information that makes no sense at all.

For example we could be working on the feeling of being uneasy and we don't know why we are uneasy. As we go through this process we get the sense this feeling is somehow associated with our lower back. When we tune into the lower back we see tight bands pulling tight. This is a great image, but we have no idea what it is related to.

When this happens is best to tap on the fact we have no idea what the body is telling us.

"The body is giving me information, but I don't understand what it is...I know the body is trying to communicate with we, but I am missing it. ...I thank the body for giving me this information, but I need some help..."

This will often bring up information. If it doesn't bring up any information, ask for the information. Ask the body, "What are you trying to tell me? I need some help!"

5) Repeat
Just like the instruction on shampoo ("wash, rinse, repeat") it is best to "Tune in. Tap. Repeat." Keep tuning in until you are satisfied you have done enough cleaning.

I know this process seem very odd when it is spelled out into these steps. It is hard to put into words what it is like to ask a body part for information and get it. The best thing to do is just dive in and give it a try. The only thing it costs you is a few minutes.

Doing this sort of tuning in takes practice. You are never going to get information the same way twice. Trust your instinct. Remember there is very little cost to try. The more you do it the more you are going to trust yourself and the more/better information you are going to get.

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Feedback – What We Can Learn From Each Round of Tapping

Gene — 2008-05-01T08:25:24Z

I read all these stories about how people amazing results with EFT right away. It's just not happing for me. What am I doing wrong?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a wonderful tool. It is easy to use, it can be used on many types of issues, and it can be done anytime anywhere. But even with that being said, the main reason people first become interested in learning EFT is because they hear stories of how EFT changes lives.

We all what to heal and improve our lives and are intrigued when we hear others are solving similar problems to the ones we have.

The stories that are told the most often are the stories of the "one minute miracle".

We have all heard these stories. People who have fought with some physical or emotional issue for years only to have it go away in moments. These are more than just urban legends. I have seen it in my own practice. These occurrences are frequent, but they are not the norm. (I believe someday one minute miracles will be the norm as we continue to learn how the body/mind/spirit system works.)

Just because a one minute miracle doesn't happen doesn't mean EFT isn't working and it doesn't mean that we are doing EFT wrong.

Personally I think every round of EFT is successful regardless of the amount of progress that is made (even if no progress is made at all). The reason I believe this is because with every round of EFT we do we receive some feedback that we can learn something from. As an added bonus, a round of tapping is so short we receive feedback very quickly, helping us to adjust our approach for our next round of tapping, allowing us to move to healing quickly.

If we heed the feedback we are receiving with each round of tapping we can quickly move to resolving the issue at hand.

In my experience there are four typical outcomes to a round of tapping that give us information.

1) The pain/emotion reduce in intensity.
Obviously, this is the best case scenario, because this is the ultimate goal we are trying to reach with tapping. If the intensity decreases we are on the right track and should keep moving in this direction.

2) The pain/emotion increases in intensity.
On the surface this would seem to be a bad outcome. "We are trying to get away from an issue and now there is more of it? That can't be a good thing?" But it really is.

When the intensity increases it simply means that we have tuned into the issue more than before.

For example, my right knee is injured. All day as I move around there is an ever-present dull ache. The moment I sit down to take a break the pain seem to swell and become very sharp. My knee didn't start hurting more the moment I sat down. Instead, since my mind was not distracted with the tasks of my day my thoughts drifted to my knee and I became aware of how much pain I was really in. It is not an issue of how much pain there is, but an issue of how much I am focusing on the pain.

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When I am tapping on an issue and the intensity goes up it is good news because it means I am on the right track. It doesn't mean that the problem has gotten worse, but it means that I am now more focused on the issue than I was before. Since I am more focused on the issue it is going to be easier for me to tap on the issue.

3) The pain/emotion changes in location, texture, or type.
This type of feedback is very common. A pain that started in our shoulders is now in our hip. A feeling of anger becomes frustrations. A sharp pain that felt like a stabbing pain now is a very warm dull ache.

It is easy to see how it would be hard to see this a progress. If I am starting with a pain in my neck that has an intensity that is a 6 and after a round of tapping it is a pain in my hip that has an intensity of a 6, that doesn't feel like progress.

Any time we have a change in some characteristic of what we are working on it really is progress because the change signifies that we are moving down the right path. There wouldn't be change if there weren't progress.

Side note: When this happen it is important that we change what we are tapping on. If the pain moves from the neck to the hip, the next round of tapping is going to be on the pain in the hip. If the emotion changes from anger to frustration, then next round of tapping is going to be on the frustration.

The tapping we are doing should reflect the issue as it is in this moment as we start the next round of tapping.

4) There is no change in intensity.
At first blush this doesn't seem like it is desirable feedback, but in reality it is good news. If we do a round of tapping and make no progress at all then we have learned the current set up is not right and we need to change something.

At this point we start to look to the reasons that EFT most commonly doesn't work. Did we clear PR? Are we hydrated enough? Are we being specific enough?

In this case what seem to be failure is good news because it is telling us we need to try something different.

It is all good news!
No mater what the outcome from a round of tapping it is good news. With every round of tapping we are either healing or we are given more information about what the next step is to healing.

With each round of tapping you do remember to be easy with yourself. One round of tapping costs you less than one minute of your day, it is easy to do, and no matter what the outcome is you are one step closer to healing. If you don't have a one minute miracle take the information you have learned from this round of tapping and do it again.

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Being Open to Blessings

Gene — 2008-04-21T07:27:04Z

I am trying to bring abundance into my life. Can I use EFT to help this process?

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a great tool for helping you to make choices to help create more of what you would like in all areas of your life (job success, relationship and health to just name a few). There are a number of articles here at EFT Q & A that talk about his issue and can be found by clicking the topic "abundance".

Last week I found one more way EFT can be helpful in the quest. I had interesting conversation with a client. Let's call her "Kathy". We have been working over the course of the last few months to help her make major changes in her professional life. Her desire is to move for a typical office job to a job where she feels passionate about the mission of the organization she is working for.

Kathy understands that moving from law office to a non-profit is going to mean a cut in pay. She is fine with that. The problem lies in the fact that she has some debt she feels she needs to eliminate before she can make the transition to a lower paying job.

Over the first part of her phone session we did some work on these issues. We also worked on her frustration on how quickly she was making progresses towards this goal. Somewhere in the middle of the tapping Kathy mentioned the fact that her parents had offered to help her with her debt and how she had turned it down.

I said, "Wait a minute! We have doing all this work on how you can move to a new place in your life. We have doing work on how you can clear out all the obstacles to get you to a place where you can do what you love. A major gift which will help you do this showed up and you said, 'No.' That is interesting."

[Side Note: I would like to point out the last statement wasn't an accusation or a condemnation to the choice she made. It was something that I found "interesting". The reason it was so interesting is because when find that we are making choices away from the things we desire there is something else at play. When we make these choices and named those choices it is very good news because we are uncovering more issues we can do work on.]

This is a clear case of someone getting wrapped up in what is the appropriate way to get what they want.

As we poked around it became very clear that Kathy had the two following limiting beliefs:

Success is only possible/deserved when I work hard for it
I have already taken so much form my patents I can't take any more

These limiting beliefs are not unique to Kathy. I know in my own life there have been a number of times in which I have felt my success could only come in very limited ways. By doing this we prevent abundance in out lives.

For this reason I have added the following to my tapping when I am tapping of the changes I would like to see in my own life. (In this case I am talking about all types of change, not get getting financial help.)

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Bring chance into my life in unique ways

So I know that I am not the sole creator of this abundance

Help me to be open to however good things will come into my life

I don't have to feel like I have earned everything in my life

It is okay if good things come into my life is easy ways

When good things come easier it will make it easier for me to share those good things with others

Progress and evolution don't have to be hard

When I help others out, I don't make them earn it

It is okay for others to help me without me earning

By letting other people help me I am giving them a chance to be loving

If I turn down their gifts I am blocking them form an opportunity to show me love

Keep my eyes open today to unique ways the universe is bring me blessings

What is import is the change I want to make in my life

The path I take for that change is much less important

Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving

Thank you for the constant flow of blessings in my life

I give myself permission to be open to these blessings in whatever form they come today

I don't have to earn these blessings

It is okay if it is easy

I am thankful for those who what to bring blessings in to my life

I forgive myself for the times I have blocked blessing the past

Thank you for the blessings I have received and the blessings I am receiving

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Seeing Yourself as an Expert

Gene — 2008-04-21T08:02:04Z

I am very passionate about EFT and have seen results in my life and my clients, but for some reason still struggle with my confidence in feeling I am really good at what I am doing. I have gotten extensive training for EFT, so it is not a matter of being a beginner. Any tips?

[This guest article is by AnaMaria Herrera, also known as "Agent EFT." AnaMaria specializes in assisting business owners and professionals reach their goals with ease using what she calls "Your Secret Weapon": EFT Emotional Freedom Technique. To learn how you can reach your personal and professional goals with greater ease, check out: YourSecretWeaponForSuccess.com]

This is a common dilemma! Did you know the challenge of believing you're an expert crops up in seasoned entrepreneurs as well as in new business owners? It can be experienced as 'not feeling I am good enough (an expert) yet.' The result? Not 'playing a bigger game': leading tele-seminars, creating an information product or approaching a joint venture partner, raising your rates and setting the prices you deserve.

What to do? Bring out your Secret Weapon (EFT) and remove the limiting beliefs of course!

Here are some suggestions.

Set up statement:

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Even though I don't feel like an expert, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

Even though I feel I need much more training, clients, etc. before claiming I am an expert, I am choosing to remain calm and confident

Even though I feel intimidated by others in my field who are more successful than I am (or been doing this much longer, better looking, can speak better, etc.) I accept my feelings and my fears

Even though I can't seem to stop keep comparing myself to others, I completely accept myself and this habit.

Of course if common-sense is warranting more training in doing your expertise, EFT does not replace that need for further training in EFT. But rather takes away the emotional charge and judgment that we ‘are not good enough yet.’ So if the matter is getting more training, by all means seek this out.

As always with EFT, modify the words to fit your feelings/beliefs. Remember our feelings come from our thoughts and beliefs. So once we shift any doubts or negative beliefs to positive, empowering ones we become completely aligned (and unstoppable) in our business!

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When Things Go Wrong

Gene — 2008-04-21T07:30:53Z

Today was a bad day. All the plans I had blew up in my face. It sent me into an emotional tailspin. I know EFT would have been useful, but I didn't know where to begin. How can I use EFT when thing do go as planed?

I had the exact same thing happen to me very recently.

I had been working with another EFT practitioner to create a website to help EFT practitioners market and build their practices. We had done about a month of work. Lots of planning of contents, contacting people to interview for teleclasses, and had done some web design.

We had a great domain name that was memorable and descriptive. It was really perfect for what we were going to do.

I was about to make my first announcement about the launch of the web site. I went to my domain registrar to grab the domain name. The name we wanted (and had done a great deal of planning around) was gone. Not only has someone else purchased the domain, it had happened that morning.

At first I went into a bit of a funk. My self-talk went like this, "Why did I wait so long? I knew I wanted this name a month ago. I am such an idiot. Did the person who bought the name know we were going to do this and just snatch it up? Did they steal our idea? There are no other good names for us to use. This sucks! I am so stupid!"

Then I caught myself. I realized there is nothing I can do about the fact someone else has the domain name, I have no idea if they tried to get it before us, and even if they did, there is nothing I can do about it. It is time to move on and make the best of it.

So I took a few deep breaths. At first I just started to tap with nothing particular on my mind. After a minutes or two I continued to tap and asked myself, "What is the best possible outcome so that one year from now when I look back I will thank God someone beat me to that domain?"

And I tapped.

And I asked the question again.

And I tapped.

And I asked the question again.

And I tapped.

And I asked the question again.

And I tapped.

Over the next few moments my mood started to shift. My energy moved away from "this sucks" to "this is not the end of the world."

Then the possible domain names stated to come and come quickly. I pulled out a pad of paper and started to write as fast as could.

After my create burst came to a bit of an end I moved on to another task. An hour later I came back. Some of the names were good and some weren't.

One name stuck out: EFT Marketing Lab

It really said everything we are about.

It says this isn't just theory, but stuff we have tested in the real world with our own practices.

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Is says marketing doesn't have to be life or death (which it can feel like). We can do a marketing experiment on a very small scale and learn from it so when we do it on a bigger scale we will do it more effectively.

We can create a lab notebook for each experiment to lead the students through the experiment step by step. This way the tasks won't be so overwhelming and we will be able to provide feed back for each lesson so the students can learn for both their experience and our experience.

All of a sudden we went from some EFT marketing ideas to real structure that will help us to form our lesson and create a way for our students to really learn.

I was no longer annoyed I had lost my domain, but now had a new focus for our work.

Things that are out of our control are going to happen. The only thing we have control over is how we respond. The next time you are having a hard time getting out of a funk take a moment to take a deep breath, tap, and ask "How could this really be a blessings?"

PS: You should check out EFT Marking Lab

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When thinking of the problem is too much

Gene — 2008-04-10T08:07:00Z

I want to do EFT for a major issue in my life, but some how I always find an excuse not to do EFT. I know it will help me. I do want to get over this, but it just doesn't happen. What can I do?

I have been teaching people Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) for a number of years.

An interesting patter has formed. There has been a group of people who I have taught, who have seen the benefit of it in their life, who have decided it is not for them.

At first I took this as so sort of failure on my part. "I must have done something to turn them off to this very powerful tool," would be the thought that would run through my head.

My point of view changed while working with a friend. Someone in her life had been hurt in a very violent way. The loved one was hundreds of miles away. She was disappointed in herself for not being to stop it from happening, she was sad for the attack, she was scared that her loved one was not going to seek the attention she needed out of fear, she felt helpless from such a great distance, she worried it would happen again, just to name a few of the emotions hurricaning through her head.

We agreed that I would come over in a few days so we could do some work. When I got to her place we talked about everything in the world, except what I had come for. This continued for almost 45 minutes. Finally I said, "Do you want to do this or not?"

This was not said in frustration or anger, but from a place of wondering if she really was comfortable doing this work with me. I know sometime people have a hard time doing this sort of work with a close friend. Often it is safer to have these types of conversations with a paid professional. I was giving her an out.

She hymed and hawed as she tried not answer.

So I asked, "Why are afraid to do the work?"

"Because it is going to hurt. I know how raw my emotions are right now. I feel like I have let my loved on down. I don't want to wander into that pain."

All of that was fair. I asked her, "How large are all the emotions she you feeling?" (This was for the emotions around her loved one plus the emotions around her fear of having to get into the problem).

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With here hands she showed something about the size of a beach ball.

We did some work on her fear of what we might uncover and how much it was going to hurt to dive into the emotions of the circumstance.

I then asked her how much emotion was left (in all areas). She gestured to show something about 30% of the size of the original.

This was an interesting insight for me. More than half of the emotion she was carrying was worry about the emotion she was carrying. Most of her negative energy around the subject had little to do with the incident itself, but her response.

Later as I reflected on this, it brought to mind all of the people (and myself included) who did not do work in some area of our lives because we were afraid what we were going to uncover about ourselves.

It is almost as if the crap I know right now is better than the crap around the corner. Sure my life isn't perfect right now, but I can manage the pain and disappoint I am facing now.

If I go looking to change my life, who know what I am going to stir up.

This is not an indictment for not wanting to look under the bed to see what is really under there. We all have the choice to face or not face any part of our lives. That is the beauty of free will. We choose who we want to be. There are outcomes and consequences to those choices. Because of our unwillingness to face the ideas about ourselves and the world that hold us back, our lives are not going to change. And for better or worse that is our prerogative.

I have just found in my own life, no matter how scary it is at the time, in the long run it is better to get out the flash light and face what is hiding under the bed.

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When we don't know the root cause of an emotion.

Gene — 2008-04-09T15:03:52Z

My daughter has suddenly developed a fear of school, (she's 11). She has previously been very very happy there, and has no reason to feel like this. She really wants to go but feels she can't, and doesn't know why? Any ideas?

Obviously, with such a little amount of information, there is no real way to answer this question. There are a whole host of reasons that could be contributing to this fear. It could be associated with the classroom, something on the play ground, or something with the other students.

What the situation does do is give us a good backdrop to talk about how do we approach an emotional response when we have no idea of where the emotions are coming from.

There are two basic tacks that we can take. I would recommend taking both of them at the same time. They are to deal with the emotions in the moment and to investigate to find the root of the emotions. By doing this we are able to help the fear in the short term and by trying to find the roots of the fear so there won't be the same response in the future.

The Emotion Right Now
One of the blessings of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is the fact that we are able to use it right now for the emotions we are feeling in this moment. In this case I would recommend two things.

First, I would recommend spending some time before going to bed tapping on the fear about going to school the next day. If the fear is large enough it is not going to happen just as she is walking out the door for school, but more than likely is going to be present the night before. It is good to deal with this at bedtime because this fear is going to affect her quality of sleep.

Second, I would recommend spending some time tapping in the morning before heading out the door to school or even on the ride to school.

In both cases the tapping is very simple. I would have her explain to me how the fear feels, how her body feels, and what she is worried about. I wouldn't use any complicated tapping phrases. I would have her tell me the story of what is going on in her body and her head while she is tapping.

Investigating the Roots
Now that we have gotten the fear in the moment under a little more control we can start to look around for what the root cause is. When working with a client I would use all the information about them and their history as a start. In this case I know nothing more than she it 11 years old. With that in mind I would start to investigate by asking questions around the common reasons an 11 year old wouldn't want to go to school.

My questions would be something like this.

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1) Why does she feel like she can't go?
It sounds like the questions has been asked but it is a good place to start every time. Often people, not just kids, have a hard time admitting why they are afraid. By asking again they might give an answer they didn't before.

2) What could go wrong if she does go to school?
When dealing with fear it is usually rooted in not wanting to experience a bad outcome. They might be able to name the outcome they fear and not associate that with the fear itself.

3) The feeling of not wanting to go, what does it remind her of?
The is a classic EFT investigation question. When you don't know the root, see what it reminds you of. Lots of information can be found here.

4) If she could change one thing about school what would it be?
Sometime we don't want to say what we fear, but we are willing to say what we would like to see different. Fear is often associated with weakness. We don't like share why we are fearful. This question lets us answer without looking weak.

5) If she could go to a new school how would the new school be different from her old school?
This is very much like the last questions. By giving them a chance to say what they want, we are giving them an out of not having to say what they don't want or fear.

6) If she could go to school tomorrow and know one person was not going to be there, who would she want that person to be?
No one likes to be a tattletale. Also for kids there might be fear of retaliation for turning a bully in. This way they don't have to tell on someone else and still be able to state their needs.

7) When she is not at school, what does she think the other students say about her?
People, not just kids, can be ruthless. We don't like to be place where we are being picked on, but again we don't like to be tattletales. By asking the question in this fashion we are not asking her to tell on anyone. Instead, she is pretending what they might say. This is a safe way to share what she fears.

Obviously this is just a start, but I think it is a good start. It will give us more information to finding our way to the roots.

It is important to remember that with EFT we always have two plans of attack. We can deal with what we are feeling right now and we can deal with the roots of the emotions. If we can find our way in with both tacks, then we should use them. Just because we don't know the root, doesn't mean we are helpless. We can always go after what is going on right now until we get to the root of the issue.

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